themamabeth's Blog

Figuring it out, one crazy day at a time.

Making Changes May 5, 2014

Filed under: Family,Parenting 101 — themamabeth @ 10:32 pm

First thing: I finished the window screens! They are working beautifully and I am so happy we took the time to do it.

Second thing: Our land buying is iffy right now. There are some concerns about the water, and…yeah. Needless to say, I’ve been back on the real estate websites. So much time drawing floor plans…sigh.

 

Today it became abundantly clear that some changes need to be made around here. We’ve had a rough couple of days, and I’m not even sure when it started, but I know Thursday was rough. Friday I was sick with some sort of mysterious stomach/fluish thing that left me almost totally couch-bound for the entire day. Saturday and Sunday were catch-up and recovery days, and then today. Today was awful. Jake just got off night shifts, and he normally goes to hang out for a bit before he comes home. I made it an hour before I called. And he didn’t answer. It was so bad that I actually sent a message to my brother-in-law looking for my husband-I was that desperate for him to come home; which he did, right away once he realized I had been trying to reach him. But anyways. Bad.

 

The things I have revoked:

-xbox

-TV

-Kindles

-Computer time

-going to both homeschool group and t-ball (the t-ball was less of a consequence and more of me trying to not totally lose my mind)

The attitudes and general awfulness that I am dealing with right now must stop. I have no idea what is spurring all of this all of the sudden, they’re usually so easy going and enjoyable, but man.

 

And it occurred to me today-why am I trying to do everything? Both Adeline and Lucy are old enough to do a lot more around the house than they are now. It is insane that I’m spending two hours after everyone has gone to bed cleaning up-after spending umpteen hours every day…cleaning up. Crazy.

 

So. Time for some changes.

 

I’m going to make up specific chore lists for each kid, on top of asking them to keep up with their own things-leaving your clothes on the bathroom floor isn’t going to fly anymore.

 

There’s also going to be more structure to our days, and I’m going to make up some kind of chart so we can all see where we are in the day and know what to expect. I feel like if we could use our time a little better, more could be accomplished-both with school and fun stuff-and I’ll feel less like we just flailed our way through the day, or worse, like I rushed us through school.

 

We altered the bedtime routine tonight, and it went pretty well. Everyone was in bed and asleep by 9:15, which is pretty much unheard of around here. I think that will help things considerably as well, since I don’t think they were getting enough sleep and it was seriously affecting moods during the day (probably mine as well. Ahem.).

 

This is going to be hard for me, I think. I get frustrated with schedules, and tend to just throw the whole thing out the window if something gets off track. But being temporarily frustrated while we adjust has got to be better than permanently frustrated by not making any changes.

 

Shaken January 4, 2013

Filed under: Baby Cakes,On My Own,Parenting 101 — themamabeth @ 12:57 pm

Being a mom has given me the most confidence that I have ever had. It was like this is what I was meant to be. It fits me, perfectly. I am a better mom than I am anything else, which is awesome, but it is also not awesome.

 

Today the girls and I headed to the store to do our regular shopping, just like we do every single other week. I’m not entirely sure what happened, but shortly after we got there, things started falling apart. The floral department lady gave the big girls balloons, which I hate because they are annoying. I rolled with it though, and we were doing okay. Then Hazel wouldn’t sit right in the Moby and I was getting nervous she would wiggle herself out, so I pulled Lucy out of the cart and put the baby in. That was going slightly okay, until Adeline wouldn’t walk on her designated side of the basket and Lucy kept hitting Adeline with her balloon. I confiscated the offending balloon, but then Hazel started to fuss. Adeline STILL wouldn’t walk holding the basket and twice I almost left her behind. At that point I called Jake to see if he would come swap cars with me and take the big kids home, but I caught him mid-shower, so no dice. We made it maybe one more aisle, and I gave up. We went to check out with what groceries we had, and Adeline totally melted down. I told her she couldn’t have a treat she had chosen since their behavior was making us leave early, and she totally flipped out. Like kicking, screaming, flailing freaking out. It was a sight to see, that’s for sure. And it was loud enough that the lady from the meat department at the back of the store headed over with a bag of dum-dums in hand. I was really grateful for the cashier who was checking us out at record speed, and I was honestly pretty grateful for the meat department lady-until I heard what the other cashiers were saying. “You’re SO GOOD with the kids!” Um. Yeah. I could have been “so good” with Adeline too had I offered her candy, which I would not do-I do not bribe for good behavior. It was very helpful for that lady to come over and help, she got Adeline distracted enough so that I could get the bagged groceries into the cart and pay. She was so kind, and really did go above and beyond, but it was because she was armed with candy, not because she has some sort of magical kid-whispering abilities.

 

The whole experience shook me though. How can I not manage a simple trip to the grocery store? We travel all over this state, just me and the kids and sometimes with a couple of dogs thrown in too. But this stupid trip to the store has totally stolen my confidence. I feel kind of stunned, even now more than two hours after we made it back home.  It’s crazy how much power these little people have over us.

 

Some Excitement August 5, 2012

Filed under: Baby Cakes,Lulu,Parenting 101 — themamabeth @ 12:51 pm
Tags: ,

So. Yesterday. It was A Day. One of those really frustrating days where the words “Are you KIDDING me?” escaped my lips over and over.

 

Finally, finally we got to dinner time. I was so relieved. The kids would be contained from that point on-dinner to bath to (thank goodness) bed. As I was dishing out the food, I though to myself “I smell baby powder”. I can’t even remember what made me come out of the kitchen, but I hadn’t been mistaken about the smell. Lucy had dumped almost an entire jar of powder all over the house, and Adeline helped by walking through it. That stuff is hard to clean up.

 

We made it through dinner and bath and Lucy’s furious protestations at being put to bed with no stories (the consequence for the powder incident). I had just sat down to feed Hazel and Adeline screamed for me from her room. I want in to her and she had her hand on her face and I thought she had told me she had a big spider on her nose. But no, what she was saying was that there was a big marble IN her nose.  It wasn’t a marble, it was a plastic bead smaller than a pea. She wouldn’t cooperate for me to get it out, so Jake took her into the urgent care when he got home from work (maybe 20 minutes after it actually happened). Gotta love a small town, they were in and out in less than a half hour, with a big sneeze being the thing that ultimately took care of the issue.

 

Seriously.

 

To Be Honest July 6, 2011

Filed under: Lulu,Parenting 101,Uncategorized — themamabeth @ 3:47 pm

In less than a week, Lucy will be one. I’ve been dreading this day, to be honest. Not because she’s growing up, getting older and bigger- I love that, and isn’t that the whole point of having kids? To have them grow up? No, I like the growing up part.

The thing is, I wish I could skip over the 12-18  months portion of the growing up program. This age kills me.

Newborns? I can handle newborns. I am great at functioning with little sleep and multitasking, so that part is cake.

Infants? Easy as pie. Even up through crawling I can handle no problem.

But one year olds? AGH. Dealing with a little person who has no impulse control and no concept of personal safety and no ability to reason? DRIVES ME INSANE. It kills me to have to repeat things, and that is just par for the course at this age.  And I know it is developmentally appropriate and I know it is my job to teach her, but I don’t have to like it. And the fact that she actually has opinions and desires but can’t actually tell me what they are without shrieking or yelling? Oh it tries my patience.  So. Not so much looking forward to the next six months on one hand, but on the other hand it’s a time for big changes so that part will be pretty fun.

 

Keep calm and carry on, right?

 

June 6, 2011

Filed under: Parenting 101 — themamabeth @ 11:24 am

I have come across very few issues with parenting that I’ve felt really passionate about the way other people do things. Breast milk or formula? I don’t care how you feed your baby. Cloth or disposable? Whatever works for you. Crying-it-out, I have some pretty strong opinions about, but again, that’s such a loose term that it is a tricky controversy. But, for some reason potty training has become My Thing. What the heck? What a random, odd thing to get worked up about.

And the thing is, there’s no way I have any grounds to look sideways at anyone for the way they go about potty training. I haven’t potty trained anyone. Adeline just started going to the potty one day. About a month later, we were 100% pee in the potty, and just recently she’s 100% of the time in underwear. But I didn’t have anything to do with any of it, other than the occasional assistance with getting dressed or undressed or cleaning up. She did it all on her own with very little guidance from us.

I don’t know why it is that I get so worked up about this. It is ridiculous.

 

What kind of mother ARE you? November 6, 2010

Filed under: Parenting 101 — themamabeth @ 8:27 pm

The first twenty five or so years of my life, I was just Beth. I didn’t have anything in particular that defined me-no hobbies, no real passions.

Then I had a baby. And I became The Mama Beth. Finally, finally I had something to define me. It is amazing.

Before I had Adeline, I was a nine-to-fiver. I didn’t particularly like my job, but I was good at it. The money was nice, but there was certainly no satisfaction there. It was something I did because I had to.

Now, I’m a housewife, a stay-at-home-mom.

The question has been posed-what kind of mother am I?

I am…

a crunchy mom-I cloth diaper and make my own baby food. I am breastfeeding Lucy. I use vinegar and baking soda to clean.

a mellow mom-my kid regularly eats off the floor.  A container of oatmeal makes a fun inside alternative to a sand box. Kids were designed washable for a reason.

a mom-in-training-every day I learn something new, about my kids, myself or both. I’d like to think I’m improving every day.

a mom with faults-sometimes I lose my patience. Sometimes my voice is louder or harsher than it should be. Sometimes a time out lasts an extra minute.

a happy mom. A content, satisfied mom, but one who is always looking to improve.

I hope that what kind of mom I am is always changing and growing.

 

 

It’s so obvious September 13, 2010

Filed under: Parenting 101 — themamabeth @ 9:44 pm

The number one item on my to-do list today was to Be Patient. And you know what? It worked! I was patient. And Adeline had a good day. A really, really good day actually.

So. That works. Parenting lesson 5624: be patient. And if you can’t remember to, write it down.

The question is, if I fill my to-do list with parenting must-dos, does that mean I don’t have to do housework anymore? Hmmm….