Fromprobably about seventh grade on, I’ve dealt with some sort of issue. Social anxiety, a little depression, anxiety. I’ve mostly conquered the social anxiety, even though it does appear again sometimes. I had beat back the depression too, and as long as I stay away from hormonal birth control I seem to have that in check. (I clearly had very, very minor forms of the social anxiety and depression because I was able to beat them on my own.) The anxiety has stuck around though. I am an anxious person generally. I worry-one of the terms we use about my worrying is awfulizing-my mind immediately jumps to the worst-case-scenario. But, that’s just me, and I had accepted it. Jake is good at keeping me in check when my worry and stress get out of control and he is able to bring me back to earth.
Yesterday, while I was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl if ice cream and reading blogs, I felt a sudden urge to get up and do something. I had to move. So I dumped out most of the bowl and went out side to pick up the stuffing the dog had pulled out of her bed. I paced around the yard a bit, and came inside. My chest was tight and I couldn’t breathe in all the way. I decided to take a shower, which helped some, but the feeling came back worse afterwards. I tried to lay down, drink water, walk…nothing helped. I finally told Jake what was going on and he tried his best to help calm me down, but nothing was working. It was probably about an hour in at this point, and my heart was beating so fast and I was getting afraid I was going to pass out, so I asked him to call 9-1-1.
Once we got to the “ER” (small town, it is pretty much just an urgent care) they started fluids and did their tests. The diagnosis? Anxiety attack. They gave me an Ativan and sent my on my way with a suggestion to follow up with my doctor if they became more frequent. I’m not waiting for a repeat performance to follow up with my doctor, I have an appointment set up with her for next Tuesday (soonest they had open) to get this under control.
The reason I’m posting this here is because I do believe that mental health issues are hard for people to talk about, and so many people suffer in silence. I’ve been excessively anxious for ages but never really thought to get outside help. So here I am-married, stay-at-home mom to three amazing kids. I live a charmed life-but still this is a problem and it can be fixed!