themamabeth's Blog

Figuring it out, one crazy day at a time.

Mommy Wars June 30, 2011

Filed under: Mama Says — themamabeth @ 7:40 pm

I can’t remember how it came up but my mom and I were talking about the movie Away We Go not too long ago, and I told her that in the spectrum of Mommyhood, I’m more or less thought of like Maggie Gyllenhall’s character. You know, the extreme one? My mom said that she was so, so glad there was no such thing as the internet when she was raising her kids, but then she agreed that people were probably just as jugemental, just more quietly since people actually interacted face-to-face.


Recently, Erin posed a question on her blog about elective c-sections. Apparently she had her children the wrong way because she had c-sections. Apparently her qualifications as a MOTHER are being called into question.


Seriously? I mean, really? We’re going to do this again?


How dare anyone question someone’s child birth choices! How dare they? No one is going to know every detail about every circumstance that another person is facing.  And what about the Birth Experience? How is that LESS important for someone who wants to have a c-section rather than a “natural” birth? Hmm? I’d rather see someone have a planned, elective c-section and walk away with a feeling of peace and a bond with their baby than to see someone have a traumatic vaginal birth that was horrible for them, have no bond and lots of stress and anxiety afterwards. And you will never, ever convince me that forcing someone to have a vaginal birth that they don’t want to have isn’t going to end up leading to an emergency c-section anyway.


Go forth, have your babies. However you want to. As long as you feel good and confident in your choices, there’s no need to answer to anyone else.








3 Responses to “Mommy Wars”

  1. I can only imagine what it was like back then, but back then women probably had fewer choices than they have now because there was so little sharing of information. So if formula and c-sections were the flavor of the day, no one probably batted an eyelash! I think everyone has the right to do what she chooses. I may not agree with you on how you do something, but I don’t think it shouldn’t be your choice and I don’t think your options should be limited just because I don’t like them.

    I feel like a freshman in college and everyone is walking around talking about their ACT scores…does it really matter? We’re all here, we all got in, who cares?

  2. Mandie Says:

    You know what gets me about this? Birth experiences are such PERSONAL experiences. My birth experience was WONDERFUL with Dawson and I hope to replicate it soon. But just because I feel that way doesn’t mean that if you or anyone else had the same experience would feel that way. It’s just stupid for people to debate it when the perception of the experience is what’s being challenged anyway. I think as moms the best thing we can do for our children is our best. I do some things to the extreme and some things I’m super relaxed on and I certainly try not to get caught up in the hype of it all. Some moms are as catty as they were at 15 and they need to get over it and I agree with your mom…it was happening back then too it just wasn’t read about daily.

  3. Erin Says:

    Love this Beth! I’ve decided if I were to have a baby, I would want to elect to have a c section for personal reasons. Everyones choice is different but I’m sure the bond that the mom and child have are the same. Thanks for posting

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