I had a long talk with my mom today about the sleeping issues we’re having with Adeline.
One of her unofficial thoughts is that Adeline is going to end up being ADHD, and that she’s starting to experience issues related to that that are causing some of our issues. (I was interested to notice that my first reaction to her saying that was an adrenaline spike and the thought that not MY kid, no way crossed my mind.)
Anyways, that’s an issue to deal with if it actually comes to pass.
So. The plan is as follows…
We need to reestablish our nighttime routine. My mom pointed out in a round about way that it was kind of my fault that I had let that go in the first place-that Adeline was picking up on my general anxiety at that time of day and running with it, it was making HER anxious too.
The TV is going to be banished once dinner is on the table, and will stay off for the rest of the night (meaning until I’m freeeeeee). After dinner will be showers and time to wind down. Tonight I am going to kind of wing it and see how it goes, and adjust as necessary.
Adeline freaking out at this point is to be expected, but the way I respond to it is going to change. When she gets to The Point where intervention is required, I’ll go in, put her back in bed and sit down with her and take deep breaths to show her how to calm down. The trick is, I need to stay calm so she can become calm. And when she’s calm, I’ll leave again. The point is she need to be safe, she needs to learn to regulate herself, and she needs to sleep in her own room.
The prediction is within 3-4 nights we will be back to a routine. I’m really hoping so.
bwa hahahaha. I thought this was going to work? Ha ha ha ha ha.
This is worse than having her sleep in my bed I think.
We had dinner and cleaned up. I got everyone plus Adeline’s baby and myself into pjs. We went into Adeline’s room and looked at books in her bed while I fed Lucy. Two attempts to get Lucy in her bed failed because it was too noisy/bright for her. We read one last book and I HAD to get Lucy to a place where she could sleep, so we left Adeline in her room and came out to the living room. It took another 15 minutes to get Lucy to sleep, and she is currently asleep in my bed (defeating the purpose of this whole thing because the POINT is to get the children to sleep in their own beds. Guess whose crib is getting moved out of Adeline’s room tomorrow? ).
Round2-So 20 minutes after I left Adeline’s room, I went back in, got her calm and put her in bed. As soon as the blankets hit her, she jumped up and started screaming again. So here I sit on the couch, listening to her scream. I’ll give her another few minutes and go back in again.
Round3-she sounds more angry this time, which I think might be progress. She’s realizing she’s not going to get her way, maybe? This is where my tendency to give up on something that doesn’t work immediately kicks in, which isn’t a good tendency to have as a parent. I so badly want to just go in there and get her and let her fall asleep on the couch like always. It would be so much easier TONIGHT but in the long run this is the right thing. Even if it doesn’t end up working, at least I’ll have tried, and then I’ll know there is just no fixing the problem, and it won’t be a problem anymore it will be our normal.
She’s definitely winding down.
I’m contemplating possible room rearrangements depending on how this all plays out. Jake isn’t a fan of the idea of doing two kid’s bedrooms, but the novelty of having a baby who will sleep in her own bed is too great for me to give up Lucy sleeping in a crib. (She’s moved from the floor by her door to her bed, or at least farther into her room. Oh what I would give for a video monitor right now!)
Night one: two hours. I feel relieved, glad I stuck it out. She’s still not asleep, but she’s at least not yelling under the door any more. I guess I’ll just keep Lucy in my room for now, there’s NO WAY I’m putting her in her crib and risking waking up Adeline later.
She’s asleep in her ball pit. Well, sleep is sleep, right? At least she’s in her room and she’s sleeping. We’ll work on the specifics later.
Round4: 1:30 AM. Got her calm, she won’t stay in her bed. She’s yelling at the door. By 2:30 all was quiet. No more wake-ups in the night.