themamabeth's Blog

Figuring it out, one crazy day at a time.

It isn’t forever January 9, 2011

Filed under: Baby Cakes,Lulu — themamabeth @ 10:40 pm

Right now, I have a kid who won’t sleep in her own bed. This is driving me insane. I LOVED it when I could count on bedtime. The thing is, my mind doesn’t look to the future and see that eventually, bedtime will come back. It is almost like I am trapping myself into some sort of scenario like the movie Groundhog Day, where I’m going to be living these specific nights over and over. My mind doesn’t take into account the fact that eventually, for whatever reason, things are going to change again.

 

I get so stuck on things being This Unsatisfactory Way, I get frustrated and aggravated and just generally make myself miserable. Dinner time is another example, since Lucy was born. She gets cranky around 4, and stays that way through dinner. Very little will make her happy short of nursing, which I just can’t do when I’m trying to make dinner. I hate it, but there have been several nights where I’ve caved and we’ve had pb&j or frozen taquitos (gag) for dinner, which to me is Not Acceptable, not regularly. Special treat, yeah, but not the norm, and it was becoming the norm.

 

So right now, I’m at the point where the days start great, but around 3 I start to get stressed because I know the next few hours are likely to be rough. Then we make it through dinner, and Lucy goes to bed and I can relax for a bit, but then I start to get stressed again because I know the Adeline not sleeping in her bed fight is coming. (And tonight, as I type this, she is sitting next to me on the couch and refusing to go to sleep. It’s 10:33.)

 

I have no idea why this bothers me so much, the not sleeping in her bed thing. I just felt like it had been such a VICTORY when I finally got her to nap and go to bed-like I was somehow not passing the Mom Test by having a kid who was still cosleeping after a year. And now I’m failing again because I am the one who has a kid who sleeps on the couch, that AND I have the almost six month old who doesn’t sleep through the night. FAIL! (I personally don’t care she doesn’t sleep through the night, but I get The Look a lot from people.)

 

None of this is forever. It is all going to change again, hopefully for the better, but who can say? I’ve got to learn how to accept the way things are as the way they are and not try to force change. I’m driving myself crazy by being unhappy with what is clearly our current normal.

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3 Responses to “It isn’t forever”

  1. Samantha Says:

    I don’t know who is giving you ‘the look’ but you are far from failing. Caeden was breastfed purely and didn’t sleep through the night until he was 8-9 months. It was a long hard road to get him all the way through a night without waking…. 6 months is still early I think, for a breastfed baby.
    And I think that all that your doing without the help of your husband is amazing.. I think that when my hubby starts deploying for the navy (if he stays in that long) I’ll have to ask you all about how you do it… I’m praying for you!

  2. Mandie Says:

    whoever has problems with the way your kids are sleeping can go to hell. Sorry to be so blunt but after almost 2 years with a child who didn’t sleep through the night I’ve just figured out that sleep is such a different thing for every kid. Additionally, I still love co sleeping with D and he’s the same age as Adeline..in these early years I figure we just do what we have to do to survive….and you’re right, it wont’ always be this way.

    • themamabeth Says:

      No, you’re totally right, but I still get bothered.

      I would still love cosleeping if she would SLEEP, but she doesn’t, If I’m not physically touching her when she wakes up in the night, she freaks out. Then she wakes up Lucy, and to get HER back to sleep she needs to nurse, but she can’t because Adeline is freaking out and…you see the problem.


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