themamabeth's Blog

Figuring it out, one crazy day at a time.

In which I figure out there really is no instruction manual August 21, 2009

Filed under: Baby Cakes — themamabeth @ 5:31 am

Yesterday I told Jake I wanted to go run some errands when he got home from work. I don’t get out much, so he was pretty excited. When he came home, he left the truck running and more or less tried to shove me out the door. It actually took about an hour for me to actually leave because we had to negotiate which one of us would get the baby. I won, so she came with me.

She and I stopped by Ross to snag her some pajamas, since she’s managed to out grow all but two pairs. Then we headed over to Barnes and Noble to hit the parenting section. Because, you see, my eight month old is neither sleeping in her crib nor is she sleeping through the night.

The co-sleeping thing had been going great until she learned how to crawl. Now it has evolved into Jake and I losing about fifty percent of our sleeping space to the wall of pillows and blankets we build to keep the Monster in the bed. There’s the space issue, and then there’s the fact she isn’t sleeping through, she wakes up multiple times to eat; I’m convinced it is because I’m right there and that she would not do that in her own space. I just know I feel like crud, and it cannot be healthy for her to not get solid sleep.

So at Barnes and Noble, I picked up On Becoming Babywise. I’d heard about it and based on who I was hearing about it from I assumed it would be in line with our parenting. Upon actually reading the first chapter, however, it was obvious I had been mistaken. The book likens attachment parenting to a form of child abuse, and I got the feeling that the suggestion was that if I did not become Babywise my child would be a horrible evil monster. Granted, we call her Monster, but we mean it in an Elmo or Grover monster way, not an ugly scary monster way. There were some valid and helpful suggestions in there, but I was too put off by what I had read to be able to take them to heart.

One thing that I did figure out, and I can certainly give Babywise the credit: there’s not a single book out there that can tell me how to parent my child. Only her dad and I know what is right for her, and for us. Eventually she’ll sleep in her bed. We just have to be consistent and patient, and she’ll get there. She’s got her dada’s energy and my stubbornness, so we’re definitely in for an interesting ride, but we’ll get there.

I have to keep reminding myself: she’s a little PERSON not a little ADULT. She has her own ways of doing things, and she deserves for us to let her learn and grow on her own terms. I do need to work on setting some limits, and I’ll get better with practice. Hopefully. Or maybe we will have a monster on our hands.

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