themamabeth's Blog

Figuring it out, one crazy day at a time.

Housebound July 4, 2009

Filed under: Baby Cakes,Family — themamabeth @ 4:03 am

What a cruddy day. It started out so well. Jake got home from work early and we planned to head out so I could get my hair cut before brother-in-law’s wedding tomorrow. Things were going great, the baby took a long nap and we hit the road with high hopes. The hair place said they could get me in at 2:15, but that turned into about 2:40 and that’s when the day started to go down hill.

I explained to the stylist that I wanted to lose my long hair and get something short and really layer-y. She gave me short, but there’s nary a layer to be found. It is better than it was, but not what I wanted and since a real salon haircut is a rare luxury for me, I just have to live with it.

We headed over to the rehearsal since Jake is in the wedding. That went fine, I ended up hanging out with the pastor’s wife-she was so nice, until they were done. It went quickly and we went to hang out with the family until time to leave for dinner.

Somehow the dinner that was supposed to include parents of the bride and groom and the wedding party and their guests turned into a party of nearly sixty people. The bride’s family showed up in full force and she was in tears trying to include everyone in the limited space that was available. No one was able to make any decisions about what and when to order, and there was just general chaos. I chose a table away from the crowd to sit, and explained that I wanted to be near the door so if the baby got cranky we could step out easily. But oh no, they insisted I come sit with everyone. Where there were menus, glasses and silverware for her to grab at. Where there were people in her face constantly. I think I sat for about ten seconds before she got fussy. We walked around a bit, and I tried to feed her, but there was just too much going on and she just couldn’t focus. And I was really uncomfortable. I’m not good with crowds and I just wanted to be able to enjoy myself and be left alone. Everyone should have been focused on the bride and groom, not the baby. So we left.

Partly because I felt bad because a crying baby isn’t fun for anyone, but really mostly because I couldn’t cope any more. It was just too much to handle. And seriously, I love my mother-in-law, she is such a nice person, but if she comes up to me one more time with her hands out and asks the baby ‘Do you want to come to Grandma?’ I am going to scream. No, lady, she doesn’t effing want to come to you. Which I know she knows damn well, because she’ll tell anyone else who is around that ‘the baby is so good, as long as her mom or dad are holding her. ‘ So why try to take the kid when she KNOWS it’ll make the kid cry? Where’s the sense in that? She really does mean well, but sometimes I wish she’d just leave us alone every now and then.

This whole having a baby thing has turned me into a real recluse. I was not terribly social before, but now I’ll do just about anything in my power to not leave the house. I’ll go see my mom, and occasionally I’ll actually want to go to the store or something, but other than that I’d really rather just stay home. Jake takes her places, so the baby isn’t stuck here all the time. And maybe once she’s a bit older things’ll change.

It’s just so damn hard to try to do anything in public after about five, and the hassle just isn’t worth it. Poor kid just went to bed about a half hour ago, she was so over tired and over stimulated and over this day that she just couldn’t settle down.

Lesson learned though. I’m not going to try to do anything in the evening any more, not for awhile. It is so miserable and just not worth the fight. And getting a sitter right now isn’t a choice. The kid just cries and cries if we leave her with anyone, and I’m not going to do it. I’d be miserable anyway, so it’d defeat the purpose. I’m happy to be with her all the time. Anyway, isn’t that what I signed up for when I got pregnant? It’s not like I didn’t choose this life.

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