themamabeth's Blog

Figuring it out, one crazy day at a time.

Around the world in 80 clicks April 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — themamabeth @ 10:33 pm

To join in on Around the World in 80 Clicks, I’m supposed to come up with five things I love about motherhood. Currently, I am sitting on my bed with a pounding headache. It is 3:12 PM and I showered about an hour ago. I’ve only been wearing pants for about 20 minutes because the baby threw a snit fit before I could get dressed. I still haven’t combed my hair. So, perhaps now is not the best time to try to come up with five things to love about motherhood.

I love knowing now what it means to have my heart swell. Since my kiddo has been born, my heart has swelled with pride-she said mmmmm! She rolled over! My heart is constantly swollen with love. It is a pleasantly full feeling that hasn’t gone away since the day she was born.

I love that motherhood has made me notice the new buds on the tree in my backyard. Because the baby and I discuss we see out the windows every morning when we open the blinds, I’ve actually noticed the tree is budding. I don’t think I had even looked at that tree more than once before she came along. I’ve had to slow down, take the time to look around, and notice what is going on. Constantly narrating everything that I see and do has made me so much more aware of the world around me, and just how wonderful and fascinating it can be.

I love that motherhood has made me a better wife. Before baby, if we had a conflict usually we’d just both walk away, cool off and then forget about it. Nothing ever got resolved. Now, we talk. If I get angry, I will explain why and how next time things can be different so that I might not be angry. I apologize when I am wrong, I listen to find out what Jake needs or wants. Because I don’t want my daughter to think dysfunctional is normal, I will make sure she learns from me how to communicate, and that is forcing me to communicate with Jake, talk it out.

I love how excited I am for tomorrow, and at the same time how much I live for today. Every second for me is a chance for a hug, a cuddle, a glance, a smile, a conversation. And I think about all of those things being stored away in my baby’s memory, I think about her filing away the kisses and the words and knowing she’s safe and loved. I can’t wait for her to be bigger, to talk and walk and run and to use the memories of the feelings of being safe and loved to give her confidence to go on out there and know she’s got me to come back to when she falls.

I love that thinking about how much I love being someone’s mama makes the fact that I don’t shower until two in the afternoon and sometimes don’t brush my hair every day totally not matter in the big picture.

And I love that now I’m going to go cuddle up to my sleeping three (almost four) month-old and take a nap. And not feel guilty about it. I guess it was the perfect time to think of the things I love about being a mom.

**I’m tagging Tiff at My Three Ring Circus, she’s from Austrailia

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