I just typed a whole lot and deleted it. Too much dirty laundry airing was going on. The point was: some bad stuff happened today, and as a result of it I think things around here are going to change for the better. Cryptic, no? What matters is that issues were resolved.
After an evening of letting some trusted friends more or less take care of the baby (minus feeding her) and a day of not having any expectations of myself, I’m feeling a little more together and grounded. Not well necessarily, but somewhat better. I was flat out lazy today. I sat around alot. I read a blog-all of the posts from the beginning up to the most recent one. It made me laugh out loud, and I needed that! So thanks, Heather in Florida. I follow the blog-she writes when the baby isn’t looking. I have no idea how to do that cool thing that makes a blue, underlined word go to a website.
After a day of voyeurism on the internet (aka reading the blog of a stranger), I realized that while life isn’t easy, and far from perfect, there are two ways to deal with things. I can look for the silver lining or be all Eeyore about it. And I really think that some of my mental health issues are of my own doing and that there’s room for a lot more positivity than I have going on.
So…I have a project for myself. I am going to make me better. And here’s how I’m going to do it.
- Go to bed by midnight. Even if I just lay there. Starting tonight (Tuesday)
- Walk the dogs at least once a day
- Finish cleaning on Tuesday
- Not sit around during the day. I’m wasting time.
- Knit everyday. I really enjoy that.
- Start a routine
Okay. There’s my list. I’m giving myself one week to tackle this one. I read that if you do something for four days it becomes a habit. So I want the above items to become a habit. The cleaning one will be a maintenance thing. Next Tuesday, I’ll make a new list. For now, I’m going to go write a list of tomorrow’s routine. And go to bed.